One of the worst things I hear when people tell me their dating horror stories is this feeling that the person doesn’t think that they deserve respect in a relationship. It’s completely beyond me when someone doesn’t realize that they’re being treated poorly and that it’s NOT ok.

If you find your Prince Charming or your Princess, this is not something you’ll ever have to worry about. But while you’re kissing frogs, slaying dragons, or whatever other machinations you have to go through while dating – it’s great to stick up for your partner, but stick up for yourself first.

You deserve to be treated with respect. Everyone has different relationship goals, but generally speaking, respect plays a place in all of them, whether you’re after a booty call or marriage. YOU decide what it means to be treated properly, and make sure you realize, you deserve that respect and courtesy.

For example, if you’re looking for a serious relationship, getting that 3 AM text (R U Horny, Can I Cum Ova) after your second date is probably a good sign that your partner doesn’t see the relationship in the same terms that you do. If you’re open for a booty call, I’m not judging. What I am suggesting is that you ask yourself if this is respectful behavior.

I also realize that unlike me, not everyone is a planner. I always thought it was important to set up dates a few days in advance and confirm them the day before. If that’s not the way you are, that’s fine too. However, if your date calls you that day for a date (spontaneity is good) but is livid that you aren’t available, that’s very disrespectful.

Your friends aren’t there to stick up for you. You have to learn to realize that you are deserving of respect. But just remember – respect is a two way street and you do reap what you sow.

I’ve been talking with a lot of women lately, both friends and people asking me advice via my blog or twitter. One of the common issues seems to be that guys don’t always treat women with respect when early (or even not so early) in the dating process.
Even though it’s the man’s fault if he doesn’t treat you with respect, there are things you can definitely do to set yourself up to get the respect that you truly deserve. The hard part though is that it starts with respecting yourself, your ideals and your needs. Here’s a top ten list designed to help guide you in the right direction.

1. Stop acting like he’s doing you a favor by going out with you. If you think so little of yourself, it’s guaranteed that he’ll think just as little of you.
2. If he’s over 25, make him call you to set up the date. I don’t care if you hash out of the details through text or email (although not preferable) but he should at least call to ask you out like a gentleman for the next date.
3. True, you should be allowed to dress any way you want, but if you dress trashy the guy is going to assume that the trashiness is more than just an outfit.
4. If you sleep with him on the first date, there’s a good chance you’ll get a booty call, but not a second date.
5. If you let him pawn planning the date off of you, you will always get stuck planning the dates throughout the entire relationship.
6. Your life is just as important as his. If he’s not willing to make time in his schedule for you, you shouldn’t change your entire schedule to fit him in.
7. If he asks you out via text, feel free to say no through a text.
8. If you aren’t important enough for him to plan more than a day in advance for a date, you shouldn’t be going out with him at all.
9. A guy buying you something (food, drink, tickets) earns him a thank you, but nothing else. Don’t ever feel that it entitles him to anything else.
10. If you reward bad behavior with good results (i.e. agreeing to additional dates, putting out etc), he’ll never improve.

Simply put, we’re all equal out there. You’re looking for love and so is he. You’re just as much of a catch as he is (probably more, based on some of the insane guys I’ve been hearing about lately). I’ve heard some women in their late 30s making excuses for the guys they’ve gone out with feeling that the pool for single guys interested in 30+ women is getting smaller and smaller. Well, if your goal is not to be home on a Saturday night, feel free to settle all you want. But if you’re looking for someone long term, settling in the short term is guaranteed to just cause more pain, annoyance and troubles down the road. You’re a quality person and still single, that means there are quality guys out there who are still single too. You’ll find him, but only if you first respect yourself.

DatingRevolution.com, democratizing the online dating industry. Power to the Daters!^TM