So guys, you just had a great date last night, sealed with a peck on her cheek and a promise to call her. So, the real question now is "What the hell are you waiting for?" Ok, so it’s not the only question, but it’s one that BOTH men and women have been failing at for a while. But neither gender owns all of the guilt or fault with what often does or doesn’t happen next. Hopefully, this post can make a bit of a dent in the problem, because if you can’t get to the second date, your chances of a future with them are nil.
Now, I will make a few caveats here (before the hate mail starts):
- I am not talking about YOU but a generalization of other members of your gender. Of course you personally are evolved, open minded and perfect.
- I will refer to interactions within this post between men and women. Please don’t read anything into this; I’m simply writing about what I know, as opposed to giving bad advice for same sex couples. If someone else would like to educate me on the dynamics, I’m all ears. I want EVERYONE to find happiness, a happiness defined by them and them alone.
- This post is mainly for the guys. A second post will be done for the women in the next few days.
I think a few different things caused this conundrum, and all of it could be solved. We could have world peace too, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. So let’s start with what we can control. Guys often think that they have to wait three days to call her. There are misconceptions about seeming over eager, wanting to appear aloof and other similar ridiculous thoughts. It’s simple, call the next day. If you really had that good of a time, all waiting does is put negative thoughts into her head, and often makes her start reanalyzing how the date went. Trust me, this never works in your favor. Equally true, the sooner you call her, the sooner you can see her again. And finally, if she really plays those games, she isn’t worth it. Those games might sound fun at first, but they will bite you in the ass harder than a rabid pit bull, it’s just a matter of when not if.
Now, on the topic of the proper things to do, pick up the phone and call. Texting, while cute and convenient is also lazy and disrespectful. I recognize that it’s the de facto standard for many under 25, and even to many under 30. But dating is about standing out above the pack. If every other guy is texting her to say they had a nice time and want to go out again, think of how much better you look when you take five minutes to call.
Next, have a plan before you call. You’re calling her because you want to see her again. Have a date or two in mind that would work for you. It would also be preferable if you had an idea or two for the next date, but that’s just extra credit.
When you call her, (since you agreed that texting is a bad idea) thank her for a nice evening, and invite her out for the next date. This is when knowing your schedule is great. Suggest a date, but be open in case your plans don’t match hers. Plan a tentative date, do your research if you don’t already have an exact place in mind. Then follow up with a phone call to suggest the place and time. (For more info check out my previous blog on setting up a date)
While simple tips, many men fail these simple steps. Don’t be that failure; leave that to the other guy.
DatingRevolution.com, democratizing the online dating industry. Power to the Daters!TM
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